Sermonette: The Chain Revisited
#FT26-05s
Jared M. Ellis
Given 30-Sep-26; 15 minutes
description: We re-examine the "chain of unforgiveness" by tracing its components in reverse order to reveal their interconnected spiritual dynamics. It argues that vengeance, often reduced to dramatic acts, encompasses any retaliatory action motivated by negative feelings—such as snide remarks or gossip—thereby usurping God's role; this outward expression is rooted in grudge holding, a heart-level condition where ruminating on past offenses causes stagnation and collateral damage. The chain originates with an unforgiving attitude, characterized by immediate anger rather than prudent discretion, which can be mitigated through empathy and the recognition that others carry unseen burdens. Ultimately, while every link in this cycle of unforgiveness is sinful, the single antidote is love, which prevents provocation and ensures that neighborly regard remains the sole governing principle of godly behavior.
transcript:
In my previous seven-minute message, I nervously stumbled through a concept that I think is pretty profound and important. I do not think I explained this concept nearly as well as I could have, and I'd like to take a chance to throw a yellow flag on that sermonette and replay the down. The idea of that message was truly based around an unforgiving attitude and the dangers that can come from that. I had established that there is a chain or a progression that occurs when we live an unforgiving lifestyle. It all starts with the obvious unforgiving attitude, which then leads to a grudge, which then leads to vengeance, which then leads to sin. Today, I'd like to dive deeper into each link in this chain and articulate some points that we maybe do not always think about when we hear about these sinful characteristics. We're going to start at the end, actually, and then move backwards towards the beginning. So let's start with the last link of the chain, vengeance. Now vengeance by definition is retribution given to someone in return for a wrong they have caused. But I think there is a biblical concept of vengeance that can get glossed over. Now, since I already defined what vengeance is, let's go ahead and define who it belongs to. Please turn with me to Romans 12:19. Romans 12:19. In this scripture, Paul brings into the New Testament, the idea of who vengeance belongs to by very simply quoting the Old Testament. I'm going to read this from the Amplified Bible. Shout out to Doctor Moss because I like the wording better and just because I'm going to. So, Romans 12:19, beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for God's wrath and His judicial righteousness. For it is written in scripture, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. Paul very simply quotes Deuteronomy as a reminder for the brethren of who vengeance belongs to. This scripture shows that it doesn't matter how many times God writes it in the Bible for us, we can forget His true order. Clearly, there was some situation occurring for Paul to feel the need to reiterate to the brethren that vengeance is God's. This brings me to my main point for this link in the chain. Often when we hear the word vengeance, we immediately think of some big dramatic display of revenge done to someone who has wronged someone else. But there is more to vengeance than big displays of revenge. Vengeance is not always this, I am an ego mentoyo, you killed my father, prepare to die, type situation. As a matter of fact, vengeance is often enacted in smaller and quieter ways. If we think back to our definition of vengeance, which is retribution given to someone who has done us wrong, We can understand that even the smallest action done in retaliation is vengeance. It's not limited to big actions like killing someone who killed your father. Vengeance can be something as small as making a snide remark to someone who has offended you, or maybe treating someone differently in certain situations because they upset you. Or character assassinating by gossiping about them. If you have taken any action against someone, big or little, motivated by negative feelings towards them, You've committed vengeance or you've taken vengeance, and you've assumed God's position. Please turn with me to Leviticus 19 and 18. This was my foundational scripture from when I last spoke on this topic. And I think the way that God words this in Leviticus is amazing. Let's go ahead and read Leviticus 19 in verse 18. You shall not take vengeance nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. God is saying very plainly, vengeance is mine. Your job is to love and forgive. Don't do my job. It's very important that we understand that even making a little jab at someone who has upset or offended you is assuming God's position. But in the same way that first-degree murder requires premeditation, every act of vengeance has an element of premeditation. This is our next link in the chain. Again, we are going backwards. This is going to be grudge holding. Like I said before in my previous message, while vengeance is a problem of action, grudge holding is a problem of the heart. We've all been in a situation where someone has done or said something that has offended us. But again, I point back to Leviticus 19 and verse 18. God says, to not take vengeance nor even bear a grudge. The interesting part about that section of this verse is the term, bear any grudge. This three English word term is literally one Hebrew word. It is Natar. This word means to keep, guard, or cherish a grudge. This cements the idea that a grudge is a problem of the mind and heart. Do we sometimes guard or cherish a negative feeling towards someone? This Hebrew word almost makes it sound like you are affectionately holding on to a misdeed that someone has done to you. And we all fall into that horrible habit of replaying a time when someone has said something to offend us. And we go back over the conversation in our minds and after having some time to think, we come up with the perfect response. After they said that, I should have said this. But unfortunately, this is the act of rumination. When we make the choice, and I am going to emphasize, we make a choice to ruminate on something negative that someone did to us, that's very much the definition of holding a grudge. God is saying, do not cherish negativity towards someone. Don't ruminate on an offense they have done to you in the past, but instead, love them. Grudge holding can easily become a cycle. We see a person who has done us wrong, and immediately the thought pops into our head of what they did, and suddenly the anger is reignited as if the offense had just taken place. Or worse, we think about the offense without being prompted at all. This is a dangerous way of bringing our spiritual growth and godly character development to a screeching halt. We can't constantly live in and think about the past. If the only thing you think about is the past, it has become your present. If we continue to ruminate on the past, we risk halting our spiritual maturity and godly character development. Holding a grudge is ruminating on the past to an extent that it has now become your present. And this is anti-forgiveness. Cherishing and guarding negative thoughts about a person will only have negative effects. There is truly no upside to grudge holding apart from momentary carnal-minded fulfillment. Again, I'll remind you that harboring a grudge towards a person will eventually end in vengeance. Simply because that negativity has to go somewhere. It doesn't even have to be aimed at the person who wronged you. Sometimes those feelings of negativity can easily be directed towards those who did not do anything to you at all. Grudge holding and vengeance will always do damage, whether to the person who wronged you or collateral damage to those around you who did not. Even if you try your hardest to keep a grudge inside your mind, it will find a way to leak out. This now brings us back to the beginning of the chain. And this link is interesting because I believe it happens before the offense ever occurs. This is an unforgiving attitude or disposition. I think it's pretty safe to say that we now live in a world that's easily offended. And while it's easy for us to sit back and look at people in the world, typically from a younger generation and say, look at those easily offended millennials. I'd wager that an unforgiving attitude and easily offended attitude have been prevalent across all generations, even the perfectly angelic boomers. I, I took a jab. Anyway. I get a vengeance, I guess, sorry. This is a staple characteristic of carnal nature that is prevalent across all generations at all times. Please turn with me to Proverbs 12:16. Proverbs 12:16. I believe an unforgiving attitude and easily offended attitude are actually one and the same. Now, we've all been around these types of people. I'm going to call them chicken people, because you always have to walk on eggshells around them. The behavior of this attitude is one that will always take things said to them with a negative connotation and will interpret anything said to them as a personal attack or slight. Walking around with this attitude and disposition is one of the easiest ways for a grudge to form. Let's read what Solomon has to say about it here in Proverbs 12:16. A fool's wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame. When Solomon says a fool's wrath is known at once, he's describing a type of person who is very quick to anger. A person who is easily offended and will let their anger be known immediately. But the prudent man he speaks about covers shame. What does covers shame mean? Solomon is telling us that a prudent or wise man uses discretion when dealing with feelings of offense. An easily offended and unforgiving attitude is one that will immediately lash out in anger or with a retort. But the glory of a prudent and wise man who is not easily offended overlooks the transgression. Now, combating an unforgiving attitude is incredibly hard, especially when there is an offense made to us. But at the end of the day, God commands us to show the fruit of self-control. Not everything that someone says to us needs a reaction. And as the wise sage of Akron, Ohio, Sandy Ellis always told me, you can't control what people say to you, but you sure can control your reaction. And then she'd give me a little swat. She would. Not allowing yourself to feel offended is paramount. A quick way to be disunified with a brother in the faith is to have an immediate reaction when they say something the slightest bit critical or something that just may have came out wrong. And quite frankly, one of the best ways to not become easily offended is to have the understanding that we do not know what someone else might be going through. We do not know what struggles they might be having or what battles they might be facing. Sometimes the best response to an offensive statement is showing loving concern for them. Turning a point of contention into a point of connection. When we lead every interaction with love, it changes how we approach someone altogether. It causes us to truly love our neighbor as yourself and consider what burdens they might be carrying around before considering your own offended feelings. This is that empathy that Joe was talking about earlier this week. In the same way that being joyful when going through trials is incredibly difficult, having empathy towards someone who has offended you is equally as difficult. But this simple act of putting them above yourself could be a reason a bond is strengthened instead of broken. And at the end of the day, if love is leading your interactions with your brothers and sisters in the faith, an unforgiving attitude and easily offended attitude will not have the environment to develop. Paul tells us this in I Corinthians 13:4-5. Please turn there. I do not think I need to tell you this is the famous love chapter. Paul tells us very plainly what love is and what love does, but equally as important, Paul tells us what love is not. There is an important phrase I want to pick up in verse 5 that applies directly to the unforgiving and easily offended attitude. Let's read, we will start in verse 4 for the context. Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up. Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked and thinks no evil, and we will go ahead and stop there. The 2nd to last point that Paul says in verse 5 is powerful. Love is not provoked. Brethren, if we are leading with love in every interaction we have an unforgiving and easily offended attitude will be unable to flourish because love is not easily provoked, and love is not easily offended, and love is not unforgiving. At the end of the day, the chain of unforgiveness is a powerful and strong chain that we can easily be wrapped up in if we aren't careful. In my previous message, I stumbled through and said that at the end of the chain leads to sin. But I disagree with that statement. Every single link in the chain is a sin. Starting from a negative attitude or disposition to a sickness of the heart and mind and eventually to a vengeful action being taken. Please turn with me to our final verse back to Leviticus 19 and 18. I think I've made the chain of forgiveness pretty clear at this point. I've had two messages to talk about it. But I think the chain of godly behavior is even more clear. So clear that Paul wrote an entire chapter to instruct us on what it is and what it does. But I think Leviticus 1918 sums it up perfectly. You shall not take vengeance nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord. The chain of godly behavior is only one link, but it's sometimes the hardest one to live by. And that link is to love your neighbor as yourself.
JME/aws+/